DAN
This was quite a big day for me. I'd been looking forward to going to the world's largest haunted house for years, after originally seeing it on the Jonathon Ross Japanorama show. It's over 900m of passageways and scares winding through two stories of an abandoned hospital. Just the kind of thing I'd love to experience!
The haunted hospital was in Fuji-Q, the huge theme park at the base of mount Fuji. As we were checking out that morning we decided to bring all our bags with us and stash them in lockers when we got there. We took a chance on whether there would be available lockers and luckily there were, otherwise we would have our suitcases on all the rides...
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| I left my camera in the bags, so pics ripped from wikipedia will have to do |
Fuji-Q itself was pretty amazing. Just as you walk in from the train station you can see one of the world's largest roller coasters as it shoots right by you. On the plane to Japan we all watched Tomorrowland and the huge constructions and things flying about reminded me of that a bit. It was strange though because Japan itself feels like a giant theme park at times, especially somewhere like Tokyo, where there are trains two stories high criss-crossing roads in the air and there's always some adventure round the next corner. In some ways the theme park feels less fun than Japan itself.
We only got to go to three places in the park, mainly because the queues were so big. This was the last leg of our touristic part of the trip and it was a relief to think we would soon be back in normal Japan, rather than being funneled through tourist areas.
The first ride we went on was a log flume and it is probably the biggest one I've seen. When the logs hit the water at the end of the slide it creates a three story high wave that soaks everything. It's like you've taken a shower. There's even a bridge that you can stand on and get hit by the wave. The force of the water as it hits the bridge is pretty astounding.
We also went to Neon Genesis: Evangelion world, which is a small part of the main park itself. It was really odd to be in what amounted to a museum for Evangelion, which is a series I remember watching about 15 years ago. They have a life-size recreation of the head of the main massive robot. You can also sit at the desk that Shinji's father glowers at him over. I though my friend Naadir might enjoy it.
The first thing that was horrifying about the ghost house was the queue. There was a two and a half hour queue to get to the front door (it was the same with the other big rides). It was almost too much, but considering this one of the reasons that I'd come to Japan we decided to go for it. There were loads of funny people in the queue. The kind of "tough guys" that you see in manga and films. Young guys with perms and funny clothes on trying to act like gangsters. There were also loads of foreigners there as this ride is world famous.
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| Tough guys who (want to, try to) look like this |
The front of the ghost house is kind of imposing, with some seriously weedy guys in doctors uniforms hanging around trying to keep order. There is a very specific rule about not pushing in the queue or allowing others to join you, which was flaunted by the "gangster men" (by "flaunted" I mean that a couple of their friends came to join them about 30 minutes into the queue). Luckily they were behind us and besides, by the half way point of the queue pretty much everyone was leaving to go and get a snack or have a wee. The last thing you want when sneaking round a haunted house is to suddenly piss yourself in fear. I didn't envy the doctors, having to stand in the sun all day and watch people push in and out of the queue. They didn't bother to try to stop anyone, which was probably a wise move.
Anyway, we finally got to the front and were ushered in through the doors. At this point I was very nervous. I'd read about this place for years, watched videos, and all of my Japan planning was leading up to this point. Was it actually going to be any good? After all, how good can a haunted house ride actually be? Can it actually change your life? (Spoiler alert: probably not). I can't imagine what Flo was feeling at this point, standing patiently in the baking sun for 2 and a half hours, now walking into maybe the scariest place she had ever been to.
The first thing you are told to do when you get in there is sit and watch a short horror movie that they've prepared as an introduction. The movie reminded me slightly of the Guinea Pig series of horror films (worth reading about), but not quite as nasty. The dilapidated hospital setting was also reminiscent of Silent Hill, though I'm uncertain whether that came first or not. I won't spoil the end of the movie for you, but let's just say that it would fit in with the other Guinea Pig films in the same way that you get one of those short films before a Pixar movie.
Flo didn't seem to be too fazed by that, so we proceeded on to the next bit, which was an "x-ray". Here are the results....
The funniest bit of the whole haunted house was the door before the x-ray room. The lady tells you to go in and you just know that you are going to get jumped as you walk through the door, so you cautiously poke your head through.... only to be greeted by a smiling lady who's there to give you your x-ray. It's more disconcerting than the horror bits as it's so unexpected.
After the x-ray we were in the haunted house proper. There are sounds of water dripping, heavy breathing and flickering lights in the darkness. You get given a torch and told that if you want to leave because of extreme terror you can use one of the special emergency exits, cue..... "Mum, I'm scared, I want to leave right now!" We were literally 30 seconds into the haunted house. The combination of scary movie and scary atmosphere must have gotten to Flo (to be honest this was the scariest part of the whole thing, when you don't know what's coming up next).
This is one of those situations where someone has to take the bullet and unfortunately it had to be Emma. So right at the very start we were down from three possible survivors of the horror house to just one. I was all alone. I don't blame Flo as I think I probably would have had the same reaction when I was nine. It was a real shame though, because I think this ride is best experienced as a group. I was really looking forward to seeing their reactions at all the scary bits and it was kind of deflating to have the fun end so abruptly.
I think it'll be hard to describe the actual inside of the horror house. I'll sum it up here, but if you ever want to go then perhaps you shouldn't read this next paragraph.
There were many twists and turns. Metal gangplanks that suddenly partially collapse unleashing a startling burst of sound and light. Mutant babies and internal organs in jars. Burnt and sliced up corpses. Mad doctors who burst from nowhere and scream at you. A hallway in which you have to walk past a shuffling zombie who suddenly wakes up as you pass and almost manages to catch you. I won't deny that this must be the best haunted house ride you could ever have.
But it's still just a haunted house. I think I had to go and visit it because I had heard so much about it. I'm glad that I did. I would recommend it. But don't go during the summer holidays and get there before it opens if you can.
One of the best parts of the haunted hospital was following a doctor zombie as he trailed behind another group. It felt like being led around by a deranged butler. I think the other group was meant to turn around and get a scare from him, but they didn't look behind them once. It made me think that there were probably a load of scary things in there that it was easy to miss.
Overall Fuji-Q was good, but in many ways it was too much of a good thing. The queues were so big that we only got a chance at a few rides. It was fun to walk around and just be there though. As we got on the train back to Tokyo I couldn't help but feel relieved that we were leaving the hyper tourist zone and going back to a place where people actually lived.
We were going back to Tokyo and our first night back was going to be at a capsule hotel!
Anyway, we finally got to the front and were ushered in through the doors. At this point I was very nervous. I'd read about this place for years, watched videos, and all of my Japan planning was leading up to this point. Was it actually going to be any good? After all, how good can a haunted house ride actually be? Can it actually change your life? (Spoiler alert: probably not). I can't imagine what Flo was feeling at this point, standing patiently in the baking sun for 2 and a half hours, now walking into maybe the scariest place she had ever been to.
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| The entrance to the haunted house. This picture must have been photo-shopped to remove the immense snaking queue. |
Flo didn't seem to be too fazed by that, so we proceeded on to the next bit, which was an "x-ray". Here are the results....
The funniest bit of the whole haunted house was the door before the x-ray room. The lady tells you to go in and you just know that you are going to get jumped as you walk through the door, so you cautiously poke your head through.... only to be greeted by a smiling lady who's there to give you your x-ray. It's more disconcerting than the horror bits as it's so unexpected.
After the x-ray we were in the haunted house proper. There are sounds of water dripping, heavy breathing and flickering lights in the darkness. You get given a torch and told that if you want to leave because of extreme terror you can use one of the special emergency exits, cue..... "Mum, I'm scared, I want to leave right now!" We were literally 30 seconds into the haunted house. The combination of scary movie and scary atmosphere must have gotten to Flo (to be honest this was the scariest part of the whole thing, when you don't know what's coming up next).
This is one of those situations where someone has to take the bullet and unfortunately it had to be Emma. So right at the very start we were down from three possible survivors of the horror house to just one. I was all alone. I don't blame Flo as I think I probably would have had the same reaction when I was nine. It was a real shame though, because I think this ride is best experienced as a group. I was really looking forward to seeing their reactions at all the scary bits and it was kind of deflating to have the fun end so abruptly.
I think it'll be hard to describe the actual inside of the horror house. I'll sum it up here, but if you ever want to go then perhaps you shouldn't read this next paragraph.
There were many twists and turns. Metal gangplanks that suddenly partially collapse unleashing a startling burst of sound and light. Mutant babies and internal organs in jars. Burnt and sliced up corpses. Mad doctors who burst from nowhere and scream at you. A hallway in which you have to walk past a shuffling zombie who suddenly wakes up as you pass and almost manages to catch you. I won't deny that this must be the best haunted house ride you could ever have.
But it's still just a haunted house. I think I had to go and visit it because I had heard so much about it. I'm glad that I did. I would recommend it. But don't go during the summer holidays and get there before it opens if you can.
One of the best parts of the haunted hospital was following a doctor zombie as he trailed behind another group. It felt like being led around by a deranged butler. I think the other group was meant to turn around and get a scare from him, but they didn't look behind them once. It made me think that there were probably a load of scary things in there that it was easy to miss.
Overall Fuji-Q was good, but in many ways it was too much of a good thing. The queues were so big that we only got a chance at a few rides. It was fun to walk around and just be there though. As we got on the train back to Tokyo I couldn't help but feel relieved that we were leaving the hyper tourist zone and going back to a place where people actually lived.
We were going back to Tokyo and our first night back was going to be at a capsule hotel!
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